First, ask yourself-

• How does my boss know what I’m working on?
• How does my boss know if I have too much on my plate?
• Would my boss be able to tell someone else about my work?

Many people say that their boss knows about their work because they tell their boss what they’re working on during supervision or when they ask for help on a particular project.

But what about those things that you do as part of day-to-day business?

What about those projects that you don’t complain about or need extra assistance on?

What about those great relationships you have with stakeholders or colleagues that enable you to get things done at work?

The majority of people I speak to have never taken the time and effort to ensure that they promote their worth at work.  And when I say promote, I don’t mean for you to conjure up an image of that guy who is always tooting his own horn in a meeting or sucking up to the boss. Instead I mean, the person (who may not exist yet in your workplace) who keeps their boss informed and gets their boss to magically toot their horn for them to colleagues and those important stakeholders.

So what’s the secret?

There are many ways to get yourself noticed at work and be appreciated for your contributions. I will share just one way.

Write an Activities Update

This is a simple  document where you list all the projects you’re working, have finished, or are starting this week or month (depending on the appropriate timeline). It should be a brief memo to your boss with a bullet with a status update about each project. It’s not the place to go on at length about all the issues you’re having with a colleague or vendor. It’s just a simple, effective way to keep your boss informed, to keep your contributions front and center in your boss’ mind, and to start a conversation about ways to prioritize your workload.

So block out some this Monday to write your Activities Report- most of you will be amazed by how much you’re actually working on and how long it has been since you last took stock of your portfolio.

Right now we’re going to take a good hard look at it – together.  What was going through your mind? What are the automatic thoughts that you have when 10 PM rolls around? Write a few down and estimate your belief in each thought (0-100%).

For example:

“I don’t want to go to work tomorrow.  I’m probably next to get the pink slip.”

Belief in my automatic thought: 90%

Now let’s take a step back and suggest a rational way to talk back to that nasty thought. If it makes it easier, pretend you are talking to a friend and not yourself.

How about this?

“I know you don’t want to go to work tomorrow but considering you just did well on your latest performance appraisal and got assigned an important project, it’s not so likely they’re going to fire you tomorrow.”

Belief in rational response: 65%

Now how much do you believe you will get fired tomorrow? It’s probably not as high as your original 90%, is it? And how anxious do you feel now? Has your breathing started to slow down a bit?

This exercise is one that you can use in many distressing moments. Think of it as talking back to your negative, unrealistic self. It takes practice to start correcting your negatively skewed thoughts and to replace them with more even-handed ones, but it works.  You may find it is similar to conversations you have with friends when one is calming the other down and trying to bring some realism into the picture.

Try it tonight. Instead of letting your mind run away with itself, challenge it to be realistic and to look at the evidence for what you’re fearing. Watch the intensity of your emotions subside and your mind slow down. Take a deep breath and smile at the way our minds can jump to conclusions. Relax knowing that you are in charge.

Sweet Dreams.

How ever you spend your Sunday night, for many of us, our Sunday night ritual could use a little makeover.  Many people are spending lots of time and energy worrying about the economy, their bank accounts and how they will pay their next bill.  Some are even feeling helpless and depressed as they go to a job they hate but can’t leave.

The Sunday night ritual is completely understandable- even when it runs into Monday night and beyond.  Lately turning on the TV, opening the paper, surfing the web, talking to friends (in person or virtually), and even going to a bar can knock you off your feet- and not in a good way.  We are inundated with breaking (and not so breaking) news about the state of our economy and it seems to be all people talk about.  Even the latest discussion about the health care plan reverts back to a discussion about how much it will cost us.  It seems that the phrase “that’s not something we can afford now” fits into almost any conversation with almost anyone these days! Although I am quite pleased to see the shift where talking about your money is becoming less taboo, this Sunday night ritual, complete with aches, pains, and “pills”, has got to stop!

First, let’s consider why the ritual exists. What does the Sunday night ritual accomplish? For some people, it may serve as a distraction from thinking about something that is worrying you even more than bills. For others, it may simply provide a routine for your unstructured Sunday night? It may be something that developed over such a long time you can’t even remember not doing it and can’t figure out why you keep doing it. Some people might say the ritual prepares them for the week of work and stress ahead.

After you have made an educated guess as to why you maintain your Sunday night ritual, I’d like you to close your eyes for just a second and imagine it now. What do you feel and where in your body do you feel it? Most importantly do you feel relaxed, focused, and energized imagining yourself in your Sunday night? Or are you shoulders hunched up near your ears, are there butterflies in your stomach, are you sweating? Do you just want to open your eyes and stop pretending it’s Sunday night? I asked you this because it’s important to recognize how Sunday night makes you feel and think- instead of just going through it week after week wishing for Friday. If you had mainly positive or  generally relaxed feelings and thoughts while doing this exercise, great!

For the rest of you, it’s time to start opening your eyes. You don’t have to keep up your Sunday night ritual- you don’t have to dread Mondays! You do need to take notice of what you were feeling physically and emotionally and what thoughts popped in your head so we can turn your ritual into a much anticipated and even treasured moment in your week. So tonight tune in to how you’re spending your time before bed, what you’re feeling physically and emotionally, and what thoughts are going round and round in your head. Jot down your impressions in a notebook by your bed or send yourself an email (for those of you who forgot what a spiral-bound notebook is!).  Come back to visit my blog next Sunday to learn the next step in transforming your sickening Sunday night ritual into something sweet!

Although the field of psychology will always be researching and discovering ways to treat the usual distressing stuff that brings someone into a therapist’s office, some psychologists are really switching their focus. They’re turning their attention to improving quality of life, satisfaction, productivity, and what it takes to make people happy. This is great news for those of you who think going to a therapist would be overkill. After all, you don’t have a serious problem, you’re handling things pretty well, despite the usual stress, of course. Psychologists who are well-versed in the positive psychology approach and the study of happiness will not hurry to find something wrong with you. Instead they will help you to discover your strengths, what works for you, what your ideal life is, and share with you what research tells us about what makes people happy. It’s okay to focus on staying well or even thriving. After all, why not live your best life possible and be as happy as you can be?